Marina- House Lannister of Casterly Rock
Telling people you live in the Marina is the equivalent of telling them I do not understand the concept of checking my bank account. Absurd wealth, fuck you money, unlimited supply of good looking people, and nothing money cannot buy you out of.
Joffrey Baratheon
The smug King who is only 13, but is somehow ruling the city. Good looking and bratty enough for you to actually despise a child. You might catch Joffrey on Chestnut street with a handful of servants discussing with him his stock portfolio and explaining to him that his offer to buy SnapChat for 5 billion got turned down.
Cersei Lannister
The ridiculously good looking Cougar that has a commanding presence and always has a different guy buying her drinks at Balboa Cafe. She skates around the Marina to maintain her dominance and inform the 20 something yogis her ass is still fantastic.
Jamie Lannister
The really good looking guy that seems to have a great job, phenomenal hair, and his pick for women when he desires to pick up the latest crop from the Tipsy Pig.
Tenderloin- House Bolton
Ramsay Snow
For how beautiful the city can be, you are quickly reminded how evil it can be. Bad enough trying to walk through the piss sewn streets during the day dodging the crackheads, but attempting to walk through there at night you risk dismemberment. Dangerous enough where you cannot just gentrify a few apartments and expect tenants to not be suspicious why their rent is 1/2 the price.
SOMA- House of Greyjoy
Theon Greyjoy
In typical startup fashion, will be deafly loyal till a better opportunity is found. Has no problem sleeping with your girlfriend or his sister for that matter. Completely unpredictable whether will be successful or not.
Asha Greyjoy
Your Lena Durham of her times. Smart and clever enough to use her sexuality to be noticed and pose a threat. You feel that Asha had to be involved in the making of the LuLu app and ultimately brought the demise of her brother.
The Castro- House Tyrell
Loras Tyrell
Gays tend to be real, nice polite people until you kill their lover. Loras is out for blood and this time it will not come from an orficie.
Margaery Tyrol
The only person more conniving than a gay guy is a gay guy's sister. Margaery has strategically wed Joffrey Baratheon, the King of the seven kingdoms. A pure, power move. She is playing chess while her opponent thinks it is a simple game of checkers.
Mission- House Baratheon
Melisandre of Assasi
Red headed mistress that lures in everyone that likes to be different. Has magical abilities and makes you feel she is your drug. Her mystic has a grasp over you that you cannot explain to your East Coast parents.
Stannis Baratheon
Headed to the Mission after too many dead fish encounters in the Marina. Always intrigued by the women of the Mission and is patiently building his army to regain his rightful throne.
Lower Haight- House Targaryen
Daenerys Targaryen
The new, rising neighborhood which everyone is talking about. The right blend of beauty and badass. A rising starlet that is not going to go quietly. I mean Dragons is all you need to know.
East Bay- White Walkers
You hear rumors that people live over the Bay Bridge, but you do not really believe it. North of the Wall might as well be Siberia. I hear they do not even use condoms over there. Steer Clear.
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