The fastest way to determine whether a girl you are hooking up with is a terrorist or a normal person is simply by the size of their television. There is not much more science to it. After spending an away game at this drink of water's apartment, it is clear she is one of Putin's finest. If you are going to blend in as a normal American your television needs to be above '32 inches. I understand girls do not need big televisions to watch the housewives bicker at each other. I get it... high definition is not needed. I have even frequented the run of the mill hippy chick who has a pile of Kurt Vonnegut books and no T.V. I can handle that, but if you are going to make the attempt at a T.V. have some self respect. There are three things men need: (1) Va-jean (2) Food (3) Minimum of'40 inches of high definition. No faster way to a man's heart.
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