NFL Championship Recap

 Patriots V. Broncos

Peyton Manning played as flawless a game as you can ask of your quarterback.  He spread the ball around to 8 different receivers for 400 yards and 2 TDs. He took what the Patriots defense gave him and never tried to force anything. Peyton proved why he is the indisputable, best regular season quarterback.

Tom Brady played ok, but not good (per Tom Brady standards). He did not make any spectacular throws. He missed Julian Edelman on the opening drive that would have put them inside the 20 trailing 3-0 at the time. Most Patriots do not want to admit this, but Brady is not as sharp as he was two years ago. He does not have the weapons of last year, but that does not explain his decreased accuracy.

The Broncos were the better team throughout the game. Kudos Denver and best of luck in Super Bowl. 

The only over/under I have for this week is the amount Papa Douche spends to throw in a new commercial for the Super Bowl.  I have it set at 4.75 million. This guy exudes coolness.

49ers V. Seahawks

The 49ers/Seahawks game was an instant classic.  The Seahawks were determined to have Colin Kaepernick beat them with his arm. Kaepernick ran wild for 130 yards, but threw two crucial interceptions in the second half.

How evenly matched were these teams? They both gained 308 yards of total offense.  Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch anchored the run for 109 yards and QB Russell Wilson managed the game effectively.

The talk of the game afterwords was Defensive Back Richard Sherman's post game interview. Sherman  made an outstanding play to tip the ball away from 49ers WR Michael Crabtree, which turned into an interception to end the game. Clearly pumped up, he gave an interview that will make Erin Andrews live in infamy for something other than a peephole. Sherman gave a passionate, bravado response as to why he is the best cornerback and why Crabtree is average. Was it offensive? No. Was it awesome to hear in sport where most interviews are buttoned up? Yes. I cannot wait for Sherman to get into it with Peyton Manning.

Congratulations to Seattle. A loyal, passionate sports city gets its chance to bring home a championship.

Obama sticks Jump shot in Putin's Eye

Russia has been making headlines recently by imposing strict laws on Gay PDA (public display of affection) with the upcoming Olympics in Sochi. Russia's president, Vladimir Putin was recently quoted" We aren't banning anything, we aren't rounding up anyone, we have no criminal punishment for such relations, unlike many other countries, One can feel relaxed and at ease, but please leave the children in peace."

Fair Putin, fair. I know you  do not quite understand what these humans known as the gays are all about. Putin is putting out a precursor about diddling his Russian children. It is a reasonable request. Who knows what these people are capable of?!

The best thing President Obama has done recently is send two prominent gay athletes to represent the U.S.A. at the opening ceremony. Billie Jean King, the former tennis great and Catlin Cahow, a two time olympic medalist for the U.S. women's hockey team. The ultimate jumper in the eye. Bravo, Barry. Let us hope Vladimir does not actually see your shot.

Facebook Profile Picture Explains a Chick's status/feelings to a T

We have all been there before. Bored waiting for a flight in a terminal or cannot go to bed, might as well ferociously search Facebook to see how the girls are looking. A girl's picture can be broken down into 3 simple categories.

(1) Body shot.


 This is  the I have been busting my ass in the gym since I broke up with my boyfriend. I am looking to get back in the mix pose. It is just a little teaser for all the FB stalkers to let you know she is back in the game. If she maintains the body shot profile picture while still being in a relationship means it sucks to be her boyfriend.

(2) Face shot solely from one angle.


This one is the hardest to dissect, but always my favorite. A girl usually has a strenuous time in college. Figuring out who she is, boys, alcohol intake, but most importantly.. do I look better from the left side or the right side of my face. This is essential for girls to figure out before the real world because it will shape her picture taking for the rest of her single life.
These are harder to break down in the sense of (1) Is she sharply drawing her chin up to hide the tire iron around her waist or (2) is the left side of her face really an 8 and her right side of her face a hazy 6. It is much harder being a girl. I have said this since day 1. Not only are guys checking you out, but other girls are checking you out hating on you.

(3) Boyfriend in Photo with Generic Smile.


This is the flyer letting all the creepers know she is locked down. The days of her scantily, clad spring break albums are done. She is in it for the long haul. From here on out, her only Facebook updates will be her and the boyfriend skiing in Tahoe or the wedding shower photos. Letting everyone know this one is off the market.

Fearlessly Bad Championship Game Predictions

I went 4-4 last week with my NFL picks. I get it.. no big deal. What's that? I went 0-4. Well, at least I gave you a fool's perspective. Think about it... if you read my blog and realized I did not know my ass from my elbow and bet against my picks, you would be a wealthy person. If only you would have listened to my views on subprime mortgages in 2006, none of us would be sitting here. Let us get to the asinine explanations.

Patriots Vs. Broncos(-6) (56O/U)

LeGarrette Blount is doing his best Bo Jackson impression the past two weeks. There is no way a man that big, can run so fast and hard. (Shh.. there is not a PED problem in the NFL) The most interesting thing is that Blount was listed as the 4th running back entering the season. That is how deep and well rounded the Patriots backs are. With Vereen, Ridley, and Bolden the Patriots have everything you want in a running back, but have the luxury of using four separate ones throughout the game. Vereen is a nightmare out of the backfield with screens. Ridley and Bolden can spread the edge and take it outside. Blount can be your battering ram running north and south. The best part about these backs is they are 23 (Bolden), 24(Ridley), 24(Vereen), and 27(Blount). They can withstand the hits. No defense wants to see an offense carry the ball 35-40 times. It beats you down physically and mentally. The Patriots can win this game as long as they do not fall behind early.

Peyton Manning is licking his chomps at getting another chance at the Patriots. In the first matchup, The Patriots put 5 or 6 defensive backs in the game and dared the Broncos to run, which they did very effectively. The catch is Knowshon Moreno is not going to break too many big runs and has a tendency to get dinged up. Peyton will be itching to throw the ball. I expect this game to resemble an offense, happy Baylor/Texas Tech game, a bunch of points sprinkled in with a few defensive plays.

My instincts tell me the Broncos have too much fire power to not win this game. I thought the Patriots would lose to the Ravens last year. New England's potent running attack has me thinking "Boisterous" Bill has a few things up his cut-off sleeves in play action.  I think Peyton puts up the stats, but Brady manages the game for a win. Taking the Patriots and the over.

49ers Vs. Seahawks (-3.5) (39O/U)

 Color Commentator Troy Aikman said it best last week, "It appears as if the Seahawks have 15 guys on defense." The Seahawks defense is so fast and quick it appears they have extra men on the field. This is probably the best defense we have seen since the Ravens won the Super Bowl in 2000. The Seahawks recipe is similar to the Patriots in the early 00s. A great defense and a quarterback who manages the game. Everyone points to how the Seahawks have not scored any point in the past month and how their quarterback Russell Wilson has not been the same. The problem is Russell Wilson has done exactly what is needed of him: mistake free.

I think the outcome  of the game boils down to whether 49ers quarterback Kaepernick gets out on the edge and gets his crushing 20 to 25 yard runs. Kaepernick is the only thing that can beat the Seahawks. The Seahawks trust their secondary in man to man. The game will fall squarely on the Seahawks linebackers to keep Kaepernick in the pocket. Make Kaepernick beat you throwing the ball. It is easier said than done. Kaepernick boast a 4-1 record in the playoffs. This game will be a snoozer in terms of excitement. I like the story of Russell Wilson following in his protege's footsteps (Brady) and meeting in the Super Bowl.  I am taking the under and the Seahawks. Besides... you want to see Kaepernick in a press conference like this... grow up Peter Pan. You sound like a stepped on dog toy.

Clayton Kershaw getting dem checks

The Dodgers made history today signing two time Cy Young winner, Clayton Kershaw to a 7 year deal worth 215 million. Kershaw, 25, scarily might still have his best years ahead of him. To put in perspective how much baseball salaries have inflated, 16 years ago the Montreal Expos traded Pedro Martinez (26 years old and reigning Cy Young winner at the time) to the Red Sox for Carl Pavano and Tony Armas Jr. The Red Sox turned around and signed him to a 6 year/ 75 million dollar deal with an option for 17 million in the seventh year. Averaging a cool 13.14 million per year.

With my advanced math,  Pedro averaged 1.27 wins/million paid while with the Red Sox. Obviously, stats have evolved with quality starts and different metrics.

1998	26	BOS	AL	19	7	.731	2.89	33	33	0	3	2	0	233.2	188	82	75	26	67	3	251	8	0	9	951	163	1.091	7.2	1.0	2.6	9.7	3.75	AS,CYA-2,MVP-21
1999	27	BOS	AL	23	4	.852	2.07	31	29	1	5	1	0	213.1	160	56	49	9	37	1	313	9	0	6	835	243	0.923	6.8	0.4	1.6	13.2	8.46	AS,CYA-1,MVP-2
2000	28	BOS	AL	18	6	.750	1.74	29	29	0	7	4	0	217.0	128	44	42	17	32	0	284	14	0	1	817	291	0.737	5.3	0.7	1.3	11.8	8.88	AS,CYA-1,MVP-5
2001	29	BOS	AL	7	3	.700	2.39	18	18	0	1	0	0	116.2	84	33	31	5	25	0	163	6	0	4	456	188	0.934	6.5	0.4	1.9	12.6	6.52
2002	30	BOS	AL	20	4	.833	2.26	30	30	0	2	0	0	199.1	144	62	50	13	40	1	239	15	0	3	787	202	0.923	6.5	0.6	1.8	10.8	5.98	AS,CYA-2,MVP-20
2003	31	BOS	AL	14	4	.778	2.22	29	29	0	3	0	0	186.2	147	52	46	7	47	0	206	9	0	5	749	211	1.039	7.1	0.3	2.3	9.9	4.38	CYA-3,MVP-22
2004	32	BOS	AL	16	9	.640	3.90	33	33	0	1	1	0	217.0	193	99	94	26	61	0	227	16	0	2	903	124	1.171	8.0	1.1	2.5	9.4	3.72	CYA-4

People may wonder why the Dodgers game him so much money, but lets look at his first 5 seasons compared to another lefty Dodger great first 5 full seasons.

1958	22	LAD	NL	11	11	.500	4.48	40	26	7	5	0	1	158.2	132	89	79	19	105	6	131	1	0	17	714	93	1.494	7.5	1.1	6.0	7.4	1.25
1959	23	LAD	NL	8	6	.571	4.05	35	23	6	6	1	2	153.1	136	74	69	23	92	4	173	0	1	5	679	105	1.487	8.0	1.4	5.4	10.2	1.88
1960	24	LAD	NL	8	13	.381	3.91	37	26	7	7	2	1	175.0	133	83	76	20	100	6	197	1	0	9	753	101	1.331	6.8	1.0	5.1	10.1	1.97
1961	25	LAD	NL	18	13	.581	3.52	42	35	2	15	2	1	255.2	212	117	100	27	96	6	269	3	2	12	1068	122	1.205	7.5	1.0	3.4	9.5	2.80	AS,MVP-18
1962	26	LAD	NL	14	7	.667	2.54	28	26	2	11	2	1	184.1	134	61	52	13	57	4	216	2	0	3	744	143	1.036	6.5	0.6	2.8	10.5	3.79	AS,MVP-24

2009	21	LAD	NL	8	8	.500	2.79	31	30	1	0	0	0	171.0	119	55	53	7	91	4	185	1	2	11	701	143	1.228	6.3	0.4	4.8	9.7	2.03
2010	22	LAD	NL	13	10	.565	2.91	32	32	0	1	1	0	204.1	160	73	66	13	81	9	212	7	2	5	848	133	1.179	7.0	0.6	3.6	9.3	2.62
2011	23	LAD	NL	21	5	.808	2.28	33	33	0	5	2	0	233.1	174	66	59	15	54	2	248	3	1	5	912	161	0.977	6.7	0.6	2.1	9.6	4.59	AS,CYA-1,MVP-12,GG
2012	24	LAD	NL	14	9	.609	2.53	33	33	0	2	2	0	227.2	170	70	64	16	63	5	229	5	2	6	901	150	1.023	6.7	0.6	2.5	9.1	3.63	AS,CYA-2,MVP-16
2013	25	LAD	NL	16	9	.640	1.83	33	33	0	3	2	0	236.0	164	55	48	11	52	2	232	3	2	12	908	194	0.915	6.3	0.4	2.0	8.8	4.46	AS,CYA-1,MVP-7

Kershaw's numbers are better than Koufax's numbers in nearly all categories. Let us theoretically say Kershaw averages 18 wins each season. 18 * 7 = 126 wins. Any team would take that from a pitcher entering his prime with a frame more comparable to Clemens than Pedro. That would average 0.59 wins/million.

As fans we get caught up in the amount of money, but you never seem owner's complaining about these deals. You cannot smack the smile off Magic Johnson. He knows that Clayton will make all that money back for him and more. In 2014, it is amazing we do not have metrics to see how much money Kershaw will generate for the Dodgers during this contract.

Kershaw has the potential to be the best pitcher of the last 100 years (time will tell). The Yankees of the West are moving the empire to sunny California while the original empire is debating whether or not to eat the 61 million dollars they owe A-Rod.